SMOOSH JUICE
Exercise for Magic-Users
Young Eren made small talk for about ten or so minutes before falling silent. A cool fall breeze drifted into the study; Eren caught a leaf that bumbled in through the window and studied it closely. “Cut to the chase boy!” I slammed a fist on my desk and a bottle of ink spilled about some busywork, “I can’t be here all day.” Eren dropped his leaf. I cleaned up the desk, casting the odd look his way. After another beat he mustered his courage.
“Um… Sorry Master. I was just wondering…” He hesitated again, the bugger. Another moment. “How can I become strong like you?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Like me? With those weak little arms? Get real!” I sat down, crossed my arms, and leaned back in my chair.
“I’m being serious!” His face flushed red, and I saw he meant it.
“Okay, okay. Slow your roll tiger. If you mean it you mean it. Look… You’re a Magic-User. It’s not your job to be tough. But…” My face scrunched up as I pondered some old advice from a friend. He seized the initiative.
“But what? Please Master what should I do! I just don’t want to be a small fry forever.” He stood up; the desperation was palpable. “I want to be like y-“
“Shut your mouth! There’s nothing wrong with being a small fry. We need small fry like we need mice or bugs or… You get the point, I’m not good at listing things. The thing for a Magic-User is to stay alive. Get it?” I started to position my centre of balance over my feet. “What you need to do is run!” I pounced at the boy. He stumbled backward over his chair and made like a stray cat down the hall.
Like a fool he looked back at me before rounding a corner: there was a shout as he bounced off of old Jeb. Just before he stumbled into a pair of young maidens I snatched him by the collar of his robe. The ladies giggled and he turned red. “He’s single, ladies!” I said with a grin.
“Oh man…” Eren hung his head as we all had a good laugh at his expense.
We were out in the courtyard, listening to Bardrick practice his latest piece. The tuning was way off. “You don’t want that to happen again, now do you?” Eren nodded sheepishly. “Okay. Take out your notebook (You have one, right?) and write this down. Henceforth, you are going to run no less than one mile, thrice a week. Make sure to stretch out your legs before and after.” I paused to make sure he was following.
“Really? But you and the other Fighters train way more.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, that’s not the end of it. Start out running on the paths. It’ll be easy out there. Then I want you to try the fields, the woods, the hills, and even around the fort. You’ll strengthen your legs, hips, and feet like this. You’ll get used to covering all kinds of terrain. Eat well and you’ll develop a new vitality before you know it.”
“Okay. What then, what about if it gets easy?” I stopped and thought for a second.
“Then you can take a tome you were studying that day and put it in your backpack. Start with one, and work your way up. Do this for the next two months, and then come back to me. Make sure to do up your pack tight: you don’t want it bouncing about, that’s inefficient.” His eyes were wide with possibility. “Remember, don’t go more than three times a week to start. We can’t let your physical training take away from your studies. We’re doing this for a reason: if you ever find yourself in trouble, down in the underworld, all you need to do is outrun the next man, ha!” I laughed heartily and slapped him on the back, hard. “It’s not about how you look, son. Your training has to serve an end; it’s got to be a teacher, not a taskmaster. You need strong, limber legs to carry that brain of yours where it ought to be. Brutes like me are a dime a dozen; brainiacs like you are one in a thousand. Magic-Users with a good heart are one in a million. We can’t have you dying for nothing.”
His face was ambiguous. He nodded slowly. I just hoped he understood what I was trying to tell him. He thanked me very seriously. The boy stared out toward the struggling Bardrick for about twenty seconds. I was about to wish him well when, suddenly, he hopped up like a rabbit and bolted out of the courtyard. “Slow down!” I yelled “I forgot to tell you to pace yours-” he was out of earshot. “He’ll learn the hard way,” I muttered as I walked back to my study.
An old lady-in-waiting yelled out at Bardrick from the keep, “Shut up that cursed music!” A plate came flying out the window and Bardrick dove for cover. Peace and quiet, at last.
Eren didn’t come back two months later. Most Magic-Users can’t keep up any sort of physical training. Even the basic regimen I gave him must’ve been too much for his frail constitution. Well, that’s a shame I thought. Nothing like a change of scenery to take my mind off things. I met with the houndkeeper and thought I’d take the dogs for a hunt. It was early winter: dead leaves carpeted the floor while pine trees stood proudly above them.
Twigs snapped, branches whipped, leaves crunched. I whipped around toward the noise looking for quarry, and the dogs’ ears perked up. In a clearing to my left, beyond a small ridge, Eren stumbled out of a thicket. He had grown at least an inch, his face was sharp. Most impressively his bookworm pallor was long gone. I heard a howl from behind him. Loins girded up, robes stuck with pine needles, cuts on his face: he was running for his life from a pack of wolves! I couldn’t help myself, I’m ashamed to say, and I burst out laughing at the sight.
It was at that point that he noticed me; I noticed him too, maybe for the first time. Wolves nipped at his feet, yes, but a broad smile was plastered across his freckled face.
I drew my sword. He heard the blade leave its scabbard and shouted “Wait master! Huff puff This is all part of my training!” The leaves crunched under my boots.
“Boy, you misunderstand. It’s not the wolves I’m after!” I took off as fast as my old legs would carry me. The hounds bolt with me: the chase is on!